Gossip Monger
by Broken Flavors
Summary: When it comes to love, Juvia is utterly doomed.


G o s s i p M o n g e r  
B **y **_B r o k e n F l a v o r s _

D**isclaimer**: This drabble has officially been disclaimed.

W**arning**: Girls being girls. ;] Oh the Crack xD How you forced your way into this. I didn't reference canon at all in making this, so take from it what you will~  
P**arings**: Various implied pairings [GrayxJuvia // NatsuxErza // LokixLucy //past Gray/Mirajane]

S**ummary**: In terms of love, Juvia is utterly _doomed_.

A**dditional** N**otes**: Written with the prompt; 3**32**. _If looks could kill…  
_

-x-

_I kinda thought that I'd be better off by myself  
I've never been so wrong before_

_I don't know what I've been trying to prove  
I don't know what I've been trying to prove_

-x-

Joining a mage's guild because of a man had arguable pros and cons—especially when said guild was that of a former enemy. When toying with the idea of joining Fairy Tail, the latter thought had never even crossed Juvia's mind. Her only fret was whether or not the man of her express interest within the honorable guild even knew that she even existed.

In all fairness, it should be said that Juvia thought herself to be quite lucky that she was treated so reasonably in her so few months so far in the guild. But her current situation was not something she had prepared for, or had even foreseen—for if she had, she _may_ have rethought just a_ few_ of her past decisions.

"Well," Levi started hesitantly, fiddling with a cherry speckled headband, "Mira-chan dated Gray-kun for a while, didn't she?" Lucy grinned triumphantly as she cuffed Juvia's shoulder.

"See Juvia-chan! I_ told _you we could give you good dating advice! We even have someone with prior experience! What could possible go wrong~?" It was surprising that the ice in the water woman's intense glare wasn't powerful enough to freeze the blonde on the spot.

Mirajane laughed good-naturedly as she passed more drinks around to the multitude of girls now situated at the bar. "Oh yes! That dear~ we actually dated for three weeks before we ended on good terms." She smiled, corners of her eyelids crinkling in mirth as she patted Juvia on the shoulder, oblivious to the water woman's stony countenance.

"What made you fall from Gray-sama's good grace?" The ameonna asked coldly, hands gripping her water tightly. The white-haired woman tilted her head thoughtfully for a moment as all eyes focused on her once more.

"The poor guy just couldn't keep his pants on! It wasn't really a big deal, he's lovely and has the most_adorable_ pink plaid boxers, but he just wouldn't understand that briefs and churches just don't mix." Mira shrugged, pulling up a seat of her own as everyone laughed, eyeing the bickering duo at the far side of the dining hall.

"Pink, eh?" Erza asked; with a single red eyebrow raised. "Do you think it may have something to do with a certain Salamander we all love so much?"

"I thought that was just you," Cana snorted into her beer barrel, bangle clinging against it cheerfully as Erza shot her a smoldering look. Cana stuck out her tongue, twisting it in that air in a mock sensual kiss causing the other girls to laugh at the lewd gesture.

"Cork it, Alberona. And _puh_-lease. When Natsu and I make-out, we look_ much _more dignified than_ that_travesty. But in all seriousness. Gray. Natsu. Secret-lovers? Discuss."

Levi tapped her water bottle on the bar table in mock gavel-authority, casting a serious gaze over the ensemble of girls before facing the scarlet haired teen. "I think it's rather obvious Erza-chan, and we can all agree what the signs lead to. The constant bickering, always doing missions together, even rooming when Natsu's kicked out of the house, they have male mope-fests for goodness sake! And now, with the new development of pink plaid boxers, there is only one cold, hard fact."

"_SHOUNEN-AAAAAAAIIIII_~"

Lucy scooted closer to the blue-haired teen, her hand closing over the other's tightening grip on her now chilled water. "Aw come on Juvia-chan," the blonde smiled softly, gently bumping the blue-haired teen's shoulder with her own. "You know we're kidding around."

"Your jesting is nothing less than hilarious."

"Ch_u_~"

Juvia's eyebrow ticked dangerously. "Lucy-san—"

"You know, you should ask Gray out on a mission. That's how Loki finally got his nerve, ya know. He's a lotta talk, but no action till the adrenaline of some bandits kick in," the blonde gave the blunette a wink. "Gray's_probably_ the same way. He's an exhibitionist until you catch his eye and then he retreats to Natsu's warm embrace in fear of his emotions~"

"You Blonde w_enc_—"

"JUVIA-CHAN~ We know how you can win Gray's affections! BAKE HIM A CAKE! Cake is the answer to ALL problems!"

"Levi, Cana, shush! Cake and Gray won't work! He's a fucking _man_ for fuck's sake. Cake is a woman's game. Now _swords_; _that's_ where you can win someone's love—"

Juvia slipped her head to the bar's sleek wooden countertop with a muffled groan. She was _doomed_.

-x-

P**arting** N**otes**: Yeah... o.O I'm sorta horrible to Juvia, aren't I?


End file.
